Sunday's Vitamin: Is he annoying you?!

When a friend, co-worker, neighbor or family member, is bothering me repetitively with his/her actions, how can I best handle this issue with him/her?

Primarily, you should have two goals;

1- To completely express your opinion & feelings (it is your right).

2- To maintain respect & keep the relation (so don't push your opinion into his face aggressively).

Secondly, walk on the following steps:

1- Don't start by your accusation or conclusion, because this will usually stimulate him to urge with you defending himself.

So, start with describing the exact behavior he is repeating, & that is annoying you.

THEN…

2- Tell him your conclusion or the feelings that you experienced due to his behavior.

For example:

Don’t start with: You are not polite…

But start with: In the past few days you are talking to me loudly during the meeting and this makes me conclude you are not respecting me enough…

Don't start with: You are lazy…

But start with: Last month I asked you to do some tasks and all of them were done after their deadlines, which shows me that your activity is going down these days…

Don’t start with: You are making me angry…

But start with: Since I joined the team and you are calling me some unusual nick names, and this indicates that you are trying to make fun of me in front of the others…

3- Encourage him to explain his point of view:

Here you are giving him the chance to explain his opinion and true intentions, and showing that you are open minded to accept his justification or apology.

I wish these simple advices would help you build

more effective long term relation with people around you

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

"و لو كنت فظا غليظ القلب لانفضوا من حولك"

صدق الله العظيم